Living the Lockdown: Stop the Noise

I am acutely aware of two things at the moment. Firstly, a continuous deep and penetrating silence around me. It is strange, beautiful and slightly disconcerting. Secondly, in direct proportion to the silence that has grown around me over the last 10 days has been an increase in the noise on my devices, to the point that my brain simply could not cope. I became aware of this noise dragging me in and along, as I became part of a collective angst attack. I woke one night with a startling realisation that my life had been hijacked. Not by Corona virus, but by collective anxiety and fear.

And so I breathed deeply again, surrendered into my now and chose to stop the relentless inflow of info in order to appreciate the silence. And to purposefully and intentionally continue to choose my own responses rather than to be swept along in a tide of heightened emotions.

This is the essential next step -

Stop the Noise.

Hopefully by now you are regularly taking a deep breath, and simply surrendering to what is unfolding. It is what it is. Then, choose your response. Just for now, just for today, choose to be quiet in the space of what is. If you are barraged by social media, virtual connecting, news reports and googling you will be overwhelmed and unable to make choices for yourself. You will be unable to row your boat as you choose, and you will be spat out somewhere downriver with no idea of your state of mental health, where you are or what is most needed in your life.

What we are going through will not be a sprint, it will be a marathon that will require our presence, courage and ingenuity. We can't run after what we have lost, and we also can't imagine the future. Remember, chaotic times are not linear. Small changes make massive differences. Right now we are best off guarding our energy, filtering the loop of input into our brains, and being quiet enough to choose our next step. Make simple goals for yourself each day. Don't worry now about the bigger picture - we will all create that together. Just make sure you are allowing yourself to be silent for long enough to think for yourself. What are you putting into the atmosphere around yourself today? Choose a healthy ritual that you can stick to daily and organise your day into a routine. Routines are very calming in turbulent times.

Do not sit and read whatsapp, FB and other media all day! It is turning your brain into an anxious fuddle that may settle into some form of PTSD.

And when you go to bed tonight and have that moment of vertigo when you think this is all too much and you don't know how you're going to get through this crisis please just once again breathe, surrender, and choose a thought that calms you down. Crisis leads to change. We are all changing and so are our values. We will hug our friends again and relish those moments like the best sweetest Lindt. We will get through this together, but whilst en route just take the one huge opportunity this situation offers that may not come again - the chance to be truly quiet.

In the words of one of my favorite Irish poets:

"...Become inclined to watch the way of rain When it falls slow and free. Imitate the habit of twilight, Taking time to open the well of color That fostered the brightness of day. Draw alongside the silence of stone Until its calmness can claim you.”

―John O'Donohue

Living the Lockdown: Choose Wisely Now

We are officially in lockdown. While we are bound to our home space for the next few weeks, this current time is about more then being confined. Our narratives that has served us to date are dissolving - just like the caterpillar in our story. We are becoming distanced from our old reality and the internal stories we had about ourselves, others and how life should progress. As quickly as I am trying to adapt and choose a new narrative for my current reality, by the next day the pace of change renders that choice obsolete.

So I choose to breathe, I choose to surrender to this moment, and to stop any other story in my head as my mind searches back to the plans I had that changed, and the potential scenarios that might play out in the future. I now am sure of only one thing:

I cannot possibly imagine what lies ahead. But I can control how I deal with today.

Choose your Response

'Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.' Viktor Frankl

First I asked you to breathe and surrender. We have to surrender to what is in order to have the space to choose. Though we may think we have lost control over a great many things, in actual fact we never had control over them in the first place. The events of the last two weeks is proof enough of that. Rather we should focus on taking control of the only thing we ever can - our choice of response.

Viktor Frankl so courageously learnt and so wisely taught that by choosing our response we are either victorious over circumstances or we collapse. We are all going to look back on this monumental event in time. What will we see and who will be be at that point?

Each moment and day we are creating our new selves and the reality that lies on the other side of this huge mountain. See it as a pattern you are creating each day. By the end of lockdown you will see what you have created, what emerges. This applies to yourself, as well as the family system you are locked down with. You will all influence each other remarkably during this time. You are creating a pattern with each thought and each action. Days immersed in drama with a glut of media interaction will result in an outcome leaning towards potential PTSD as your adrenals can only cope with so much stress. Days immersed in chosen rituals, with a chosen narrative (Bill Gates provides an excellent narrative for this crisis), good self-care and contributing to your fellow humans by staying home will result in growth even in difficult times.

Whilst we all in truth need to grieve the loss of life as we knew it, the time for grieving will come. Now is the time to focus strongly on putting one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. Choose your steps wisely to ensure a destination you can live with.

Breathe, surrender and then choose.

Planning a Good Lockdown (1)- Breathe and Surrender

This is the first of a series of posts which will go out in fairly quick succession.

We are without doubt in a massive planetary crisis on a scale we have never experienced and could hardly imagine. I don't doubt that this is not just a health crisis resulting from a microsopic virus, but a disturbance that will have progressively have a massive effect on life as we know it. A true butterfly effect. The symbolism is not lost on me and the final outcome will all depend on us. Each one of us has a critical role to play.

So to start with let me just give a (very) brief overview of how systems evolve:

All systems evolve in the same way. First a disturbance, usually unexpected, then an actual crisis when all our old ways of trying to deal with the disturbance fail. The crisis requires new thinking, new measures and new disciplines. We are not just talking change - we are talking deep change. Deep change results from novel thinking that align with novel times. Finally, once implemented the new thinking and new behavior results in growth, expansion and improvement when well managed.

Each one of us are part of the system in crisis, and each one of us plays a role in both where we are going as well as how we will get there. I plan to release blog articles regularly as a kind of guide. Its up to you to decide if you want to join in or not. We cannot plan in this space as it does not unfold in a predictable way - each day brings new information we have never encountered. I will write the blogs as the process unfolds.

BREATHE AND SURRENDER...

The very first step that we need to take is to start breathing again, and to then surrender into this space for now. Just that. Breathe deeply many times a day. It stimulates a relaxation response. Get those chemicals that turn your brain off circulating at least once a day. Stop thinking about tomorrow. This gives you the space to start planning who you will be at the end of this crunching process.

For today and tomorrow, start breathing deeply. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7 counts and exhale for 8 counts. This is a magic formula to sleep, relax and reframe. Do it for 8 cycles 2-3 times per day. Just start with your breath, and surrender. Nothing else is going to work better at this point.

Trust me.